And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
