just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
