ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
