I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
