Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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