I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
