Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
