I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
