I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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