he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
