And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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