words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
