I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
