the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
