capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize