its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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