you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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