Fuck appropriateness.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
