Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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