If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
