Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
