We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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