Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I understand Curling. That high.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize