I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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