Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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