you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
