I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
