I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
this is an emotional support booty call
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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