that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
