Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
