Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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