Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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