Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
