Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
