so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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