I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
