i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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