are you still at the devil's house?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
PANTIES FOUND
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize