i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize