but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize