sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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