when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
