Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
