i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
