I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
