he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
