She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
