It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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