i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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