the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
