I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
