We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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