im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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