would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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