just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
