No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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