Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize